


Reconciliation

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Star Wars, Episode IX: The Edge of Darkness [6]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kylo Ren Redemption, Reconciliation, Redeemed Ben Solo, Unconsciousness, character death is snoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:56:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11446044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: While unconscious after the final battle, Kylo Ren takes the opportunity to reconcile with old ghosts.





	Reconciliation

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Unconsciousness. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 

It was while Kylo Ren was unconscious after his fight with the Supreme Leader that he dreamed about both of his parents.

His father came first. He was as worn as he looked when he had stepped onto the bridge of Starkiller Base, but he also looked strangely revitalized. As warm as he looked from Kylo's childhood.

Kylo's throat went dry in that moment, almost like sandpaper, even as he spoke. "F -- Han Solo?"

He didn't know how to react to his father's presence. Let alone what to call him, actually. Was he Father? Dad? Han Solo? He didn't know what to make of it, any of it, actually.

His father, meanwhile, gave him a smile -- a warm, almost radiant smile. "Hey there, kiddo."

 _Kiddo_. Just like when Kylo was younger, just like when he was still close to his father. Even that word made his chest unexpectedly clench.

"What are you doing here?" he said. "Am I dead?"

"No, you're not," his father said. "Just unconscious. You were pretty badly wounded in the fight with Snoke." Another smile. "I'm proud of you, kiddo. You did the right thing in going against him."

"I couldn't let him hurt Poe. Or Jaina. But..." Kylo took a deep breath. Even in his unconscious state, he could feel the first streams of his own misery threatening to pour down his face. "Was it enough?"

"It was more than enough."

His mother stepped out of the shadows just then. It was then that Kylo realized that they had never really come face to face. He had never seen his mother since...well, since he was in his early twenties at least.

"M -- General?"

"None other," said his mother. "You were incredibly brave. You were incredibly strong."

"I am...neither of these things."

"The fact that you stood up to Snoke in the first place is what makes you brave."

"But I didn't resist him earlier -- "

"You were stalked by him since before you were born," his mother said. "How could you have resisted? Besides, you were a child. You had no idea of his true intentions." Silence. "You were an innocent. I wish I'd seen it earlier."

 _Innocent_. And with that word, it felt as if the spell that had been cast over Ben Solo since he was a boy, the spell of parental approval and being just good enough -- that had been broken.

"I'm sorry, kiddo." Han said. "If I knew what exactly he was doing..." His face darkened. "I would have shot him."

"He's dead." Kylo said. "And he went out finally taking down the First Order. He did that much."

"Did he now?" his mother said. "I didn't think there was a selfless act in his body..."

"There was more in him than any of us thought." Kylo said. He could still remember Snoke lying on the ground, not the fearsome Supreme Leader that others saw him as, but a frail old man, realizing for the first time the horror of what he'd done. " _Forgive me, Ben. I failed Milara. I failed the galaxy."_

An old man, realizing the full depths of his folly, and regretting it.

Kylo took a deep breath. "You're probably wondering why I helped him."

And even recounting everything that happened, it felt like the first time that he'd told his story, the first time that he'd told the truth about what happened to him. Talking about how Jacen Yana had turned out to be Snoke, what happened to him, everything that happened. Finally, Han spoke in incredulity. "All this...all this for Milara?"

"Yes," Kylo said. "I wonder how Milara will remember him. What kind of stories they'll be telling about him."

"Not good ones," Leia said. "Ben...I haven't told you properly how sorry I am for the way that I treated you. I thought that you couldn't control your powers, and that would be your downfall. But most of all, I wanted to protect you. I thought I was protecting you the best way I knew how. I was wrong."

"So all this...all these years..." Were all these years of self-hatred for nothing? He took a deep breath. "Twenty-five years is a long time to hate yourself."

"I know." Leia's voice was soft. "I never should have inflicted such a thing on you, Ben. I'm sorry."

Forgiveness was too confusing a thing. Kylo had a feeling that it would only get worse for others who were no doubt in the waking world.

And did he deserve forgiveness, let alone compassion? Forgiveness wasn't going to magically wipe away everything he did. It wasn't magic. It wasn't the Force -- and that was not how the Force worked.

"I don't deserve this. Any of this." Kylo said.

"Why not?" his mother said.

"After all I did...why are you forgiving me?"

"You're our son." his mother said.

His father nodded. "I already forgave you when you stabbed me," he said.

"You shouldn't -- "

"I do." His father stepped forward, placed hands on his shoulders. "I forgive you. Completely, Ben. Always.”

His father had reached up to touch his face. Jaina had etched that day into his flesh, and though the First Order medical staff managed to heal a great deal of the damage (medicine was truly miraculous), a thin black scar was the aftermath of what he had done.

The unconscious world was fading fast. And Kylo panicked. "Wait!" he said. "There's...two others I want to speak with. Mom, Dad," and he was aware that he had used those names for the first time in six years; they sounded so strange on his tongue, "Can I speak with them? I have to..."

Slowly, Mom and Dad stepped aside to let Aunt Alora and Thomas through. Thomas, still twenty, while Kylo was nearly thirty, Aunt Alora, still in her fifties when she'd died. The words came spilling out before Kylo could stop them. Apologies for failing Thomas, for falling. Apologies to Aunt Alora for what he had done.

"I wanted to not fail like I did with Thomas." Kylo said.

"Ben," Thomas said, "There was no way you could have saved me. It wasn't your fault."

"I could have been better. Much better."

"You did the best you could. Lisaris was stronger than you."

"And all these other things I did..."

"You're already on the path to making them up," Aunt Alora said. "You're on your way. More than anything you are."

"I will." A deep breath. "When I wake, I'll do whatever I can to put this right."

"And that's the right thing to do," Aunt Alora said. "No matter what happens, Ben, we'll always be with you. We'll always be there to guide you. Remember, Ben..."

When Kylo Ren woke in the Resistance medical bay, Doctor Kalonia watching over him, he could swear that he could feel their presences with him. Warm, radiating light and forgiveness and love. Those he had wronged were still willing to forgive him. He didn't deserve it, and yet here they were.

Because they cared for him.

He would do what he could to make up for what he had done. They deserved that much. Everyone did.

And they would continue to inspire him in all he did, up to his death and beyond.

 

 

 

 


End file.
